I am writing this during a particularly bad time to make sure I capture the sentiment properly. Chemo sucks.
An old co-worker of mine had an expression that she would use to describe how she felt on a particularly bad sick day. She would say, “I feel like death warmed up.” I think that kinda sums up how I feel on about day 5 after chemo. I’ve got to admit, I am feeling a little less GI Jane right now and a little more mini Darth Vader without his helmet. My look is getting a lot more cancery. Is cancery a word?
With two rounds of chemo down, I am now getting an idea of the way this goes. Day 2 after chemo, I am doing pretty well. I go in for a Nuelasta shot which is supposed to help boost my white blood cell count. Day 3 I feel OK, but I’m starting to feel a little tired. Day 4 I am feeling pretty run down and then days 5-8ish, I feel like a total piece of shit (more on that below).
This past treatment definitely felt more harsh than the first. I felt a little nauseous during the treatment and I also got vein irritation from the chemo meds. My arm swelled and burned and the nurse kept checking to see if I had “good blood supply” on the IV. She wanted to make sure the vein didn’t collapse and that none of the drugs escaped into tissues in my arm (blah, gross!) I teared up a few times during this treatment and Jim rubbed my hands. I was quick to catch myself, so that it wouldn’t turn into a complete sob fest (once I start, sometimes it’s hard to stop, and I’d rather do that kind of free form crying in the privacy of my own home). Besides the vein irritation, round 2 was pretty much like round 1, a full day of infusions at Georgetown.
Side effects experienced (granted these don’t happen all at once, but they come on in nice waves and layers):
- Fatigue
- Cloudiness
- Headache
- Congestion
- Sinus pressure/pain
- Ear aches
- Hair loss
- Constipation
- Diarrhea
- Muscle Aches
- Acne
- Anxiety
- Rash
- Nausea
- Loss of taste
- Mouth sores
- Folliculitis
So that last one on this list is a real bummer. I have a wicked rash all over my head right now that is really painful and uncomfortable. I would post a picture, but I don’t want to scare the children. I contacted the nurse this evening and she said it looks like something called folliculitis. The biggest problem with chemo is the possibility of infections, so I am starting an antibiotic to prevent a big old problem on my bald head. Let the good times roll.
big hug. i suppose chemo sucking isn’t really new information, but it makes me sad to know it’s so hard.
you’re so strong. GI Jane and her basic training ain’t got nothin on chemo, let’s be honest.
Hugs, thanks Janaya! The pics of your little boy cheered me up!
Hugs, thanks Janaya! PS. The pics of your little boy cheered me up! So exciting.
I’m with Janaya – you have been unbelievably strong throughout this whole experience!
We’re thinking of you… and don’t forget: anything you and Jim need – don’t even hesitate – you just say the word!
Thanks so much Hobbs!
Leeches and hot mustard compresses are a walk in the park next to the wonders of modern pharma…
But not so so long from now, you’re going to be out walking your beautiful dog, with the sun on your face and the wind in your hair and you will know that you can take whatever sh”$%t life throws at you – because you already have.
xx Amy
Aww Amy, thanks, your note brought tears to my eyes. I love that visualization…I can’t wait feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my face walking along in a nice cool breeze with the dog. Perfect. Xoxo, Al
Hang in there lady – big, gigantic, fuzzy blanket hugs to you (and your fella – this has to be so hard to watch as a partner too.) 🙁
Hope you feel better!!!!
Thanks EM!
Alison, it’s a helpless feeling for those who care about you to see and read of your chemo experience. Unfortunately, it is part of life for all too many people and we can only hope and pray you will get thru this with your health restored, looking forward to a long and happy future. Think we’re having dinner with your mom and dad this Saturday evening.
John and Patty
Thanks John and Patty, I just keep reminding myself, this too shall pass! I’m glad you are seeing my folks this weekend. Hugs, alison
Sorry you feel like crap. 🙁 Hazel had folliculitis on her bum recently. I don’t know why I am telling you that, but it just reminded me of it. Hang in there. Glad Jim is there to hold your hands. And you are an amazing cryer. If I could cry like you, I would never hold back in public. 🙂 hugs.
😉 thanks KO! Love u!
god, al. 🙁 like your friend janaya said, i’ve always heard chemo sucks, but it’s really hard to read about how much it sucks when it’s happening to a friend. i don’t know how you find the strength to keep blogging, but i am in complete awe of your ability to be so brutally honest. big hug to you!!!
Thanks Kim, I heard the second one can be the worst, so I am hoping it gets a little easier from here. Big hugs back to you too!
good lord. I’m such a wussy I am all tear eyed over hear just reading what you are going through…Tiggy better be taking care of you!
Stay strong kiddo!
😉 chris you ol’ softy! don’t worry i am a wussy too and even wussy’s can do it! i’m feeling a lot better today actually. tiggy has been making me herbal tea and entertaining me with stand up comedy.
HaHaHaHa!! I knew there was more to that dog than just feed me 24/7
I am telling you, I’ll be your soup bandit. You are doing such an amazing job hanging in there. I’m thinking about you all the time.
xx
I might text the soup bandit if needed…thanks EH!
Sometimes I say reading your blog or thinking about you and Jim gives me perspective. But let me tell you, perspective can shove it.
Thinking about you always. Hang in there.
(And you are WAY cooler than Demi Moore.)
-m
Alison your post scared me a bit as I am gearing up for my TC round 2 this Thursday. And I have to preface my next comment with the fact that I am normally a very cynical person…… but you are halfway through!!! Chemo sucks. Breast cancer sucks. Surgery sucked. But we are most certainly working our way down the bc road. Two rounds to go – you got this!
PS I plan to go to the Young Women’s bc group at G-town Wed. Has anyone mentioned that one to you?
Oh no! Don’t let it scare you! I know it is so different from person to person and I also happened to get a cold or flu along with it last time, so it just kinda piled on. You are right, half way there! Thanks Carmen, I needed that! Hey, no hadn’t heard about the G-town group on Wed. I would like to go, when and where is it?
Hi Alison Q, I was researching the internet to find out about picc line flutters when I came across your site. It was really helpful to read everything well not everything but lots. I am 41 with two sons 21 and 18 and a wonderful husband Teddy, was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in Dec. I have had the partial mastectomy and sever infection right after, spent a few weeks in hospital. Now getting ready for my first chemo treatment. I will also have to have radiation when chemo is all finished to. I am writting to you because your site was so incredibly helpful and reading it helped me with alot of questions. The unknowns in this are crazy and this disease is horrible but you seem strong and I have been told through this I am strong buts honestly I am just getting by day by day!!!!!
Thanks for posting your experience truly helpful
Paula
Paula- Thank you for writing to me. It makes me so happy to know that some of my info helped you! When I look back over the whole thing, it seems overwhelming, but I actually was able to just take it day by day, which is the best way to go. There will be good and bad days and I just tried to enjoy the good things and let myself rest and ride it out through the bad. Surprisingly after all the chemo and radiation you DO bounce back and you will feel good again. I worried after the first round of chemo that I might not fully recover from it, but then you bounce back. I remember those PICC line heart flutters, not fun! I’m sorry you had the infection post surgery and glad you are past it! Sending you lots of positive energy going into chemo, you can do it and it will be over before you know it!