Grateful

This past treatment left me feeling grateful (well anger and sadness came before the gratitude).

I feel angry when I think of my two beautiful aunts undergoing this wretched chemotherapy treatment. They were both so wonderful. Deb, with her infectious belly laugh and determination, and Anne with her caring advice and her grace and style. I miss them both a lot and I’m sad that I can’t talk to them right now. Out of this anger and sadness, I do feel gratitude. I am grateful for all the wonderful times I spent with Deb and Anne. I have wonderful memories and pieces of each of them that I hold with me. Really good things. I am also grateful that they are not in pain. I felt a presence early on in my diagnosis of light and energy that was really calming and protective. I like to think this was Deb and Anne awash in peace and happiness and letting me know that things are always OK just as they are. Love you and miss you Anne and Deb, I have been thinking about you both a lot lately.

I have a lot to be grateful for actually. I am so grateful for the nurses at Georgetown. Karra and Lilly are wonderful, responsive, supportive and just human. I am grateful to be able to spend time with family and friends and to connect in a deeper way with new friends I am making along the way. I am grateful for a loving husband and for the evolution of our bond. I am grateful for my ever-so attentive mom and my sensitive dad. I am grateful for my talented and hilarious brother. I am so thankful to have the capacity for deep friendships. I love my friends, they are my extended family members and I am lucky this circle keeps growing. I am also grateful for my sidekick Mr. T, who keeps me laughing and appreciating the little moments.

…and in a very new way, I am truly grateful when I feel well. Just to sit and feel good and have the sun shining on your face, it’s a gift. I want to make sure I remember this.

Wishing everyone health, peace, love and happiness.

Love, Al